Now you can imagine how my ego feels about all this and you would be right. You see I have come to understand that if the ego cannot answer a question satisfactorily it just takes the question out of mind. However by keeping these ideas top of mind during the day the ego has to deal with them or at least admit defeat, which is not a pleasant experience.

Conversations with Ego …

Ego – “I am never upset for the reason I think”! Really, lets have a look at why you may have been upset and not feeling well. Your relationship is finished, your productive life is fast coming to an end and lets face it what do you really have left. They are clearly the reasons you are upset and you know it!

Me – Actually I don’t think so. Yes those things may be happening to a degree, however even when it was the opposite of all those things I still managed to be upset at times. So I don’t really think being upset is based on external conditions, and after sitting with that statement for a day I’m pretty sure I have never been upset for the reasons I thought!

Ego – Oh good grief you are so gullible. Just look at your current life and see it for what it is, if you don’t start fixing it fast it will all fall apart and then where are we going to be huh?

Me – Well actually I really don’t know. You make a valid point that if I sat and judged my life as the world would and you do right now, I might get very upset. However I starting to think that I may not be seeing the entire picture and in fact may be seeing a lot of stuff that isn’t really there.

Ego – Great now we are seeing things! So where are these things you are seeing, but not really there, coming from?

Me – My guess, the past. I am actually seeing the past in all that I am experiencing today. As a matter of fact when I observe my thoughts I can see the majority are about past stuff, and those that are not are future based, very few, if any are about this moment now!

Me – Ok now I have a question, if you are looking out for me and only want my best then why are you so against me pursuing these ideas.

Ego – Because it’s not safe and a waste of our precious time as you will find out if you continue!!

It’s interesting when I start challenging the way I am used to thinking about things, because not only does my ego have a hissy fit so does my body. I wake feeling sick and fatigued, and during the day things do not really improve.

Then towards the end of these four days I discovered something that blew me away. If I started my morning reading the ACIM text, doing a short meditation or similar, sharing thoughts with others etc, I felt much better during the day than I did not.

It was amazing that how I started my day effected the whole day!

Conversations with Spirit …

Me – Ok my external situations seem to be changing on a daily basis and I am doing nothing physically to change them, what is all that about?

Spirit – Think of it this way. If you change your way of thinking about things, what you actually see changes, that is the nature of the illusion. You are now starting to become aware that all you have been thinking and seeing is either based on the past or future. Now you are changing that, you start to see the Now and how everything looks from there. 

Me – But hang on, I’m talking about people changing, relationships changing, situations changing and I am doing nothing to change them!

Spirit – Well yes you are, in fact you are doing the only Real thing you can do to change them, thinking differently, you are extending love rather than projecting fear, but that lesson is for another day.

Me – Oh Ok, again appreciate the chat talk again soon.

Travel Well

Gavin

Now if you are anything like me your ego is immediately judging the crap out of what they are saying and going something like this:

Conversations with Ego …

Ego – So you have given everything all the meaning it has hey, well what about a tree what meanings have you given a tree.

Me – Well lets see, a tree can be very pleasurable by providing shelter for me on a hot day, or it could be a pain in the butt by dropping leaves in my pool all the time, so yes I guess I have given a tree many meanings.

Ego – Ok bad example, however let me ask you this question, what if you go and remove all those meanings from everything you see, what would you be left with?

Me – That is a very good question, and maybe that is what it means by “I do not understand anything I see in this place”, as a matter of fact after using that idea for a day, I have to say now I’m really not sure what I see!!

Ego – Oh great, now you are questioning what you see. Next you will be questioning what is real and what is not. Please can we give this game away for now and concentrate on the more important things like making money and finalizing our plan for the business.

Me – Well that is what we have been doing for the past 30 years, and while I have obtained varying degrees of success, I have still never had lasting peace and joy, so I really think I’m going to give this a little more time.

Ego – Yep that’s your problem at the moment you aren’t thinking right. Ok you want to play then, who am I to stop you, so go waste your time.

Me – Well thanks for that as I’m not sure what thoughts have got to do with anything at the moment. However after giving thoughts no meaning for a day I have really come to the conclusion that maybe I have been thinking wrong for a very long time now.

Ego – Oh Ho!

Conversations with Spirit …

Me – Ok I am a little confused, are you really saying that I have given meaning to everything I see?

Spirit - Yes

Me – So I am assigning meanings to all these things, people, relationships etc and then deciding if they are good or bad, happy or sad etc, and from that I perceive out in the world what I have decided!

Spirit – Yes

Me – So when I was practicing the idea of not understanding anything I see, and started to remove meanings from all things I became aware that maybe there is more to all this. Maybe I have had it wrong some how.

Spirit – What you are starting to realize is that all you are seeing you have created, ALL OF IT, and you have created it from a wrong way of thinking. However don’t be concerned with that at the moment because right now your task is only to start to see the illusion you have been taking for reality.

Me – I am feeling that after I remove all meanings from the things I see and my thoughts I will be left with nothing and that is scary!

Spirit – You will be left with Truth and remember – Nothing real can be threatened, Nothing unreal exists, Herein lies the peace of God.

Me – Ok now my head really hurts, thanks for chatting and I’m sure we will speak again.

Travel Well

Gavin

So I did it a few more times during the day, not as a ritual, but really trying to embed the experience, and embed it I did, much to the disgust and somewhat amusement of my Ego.

I noticed during the day I started to ask the question, if I take the meaning out of everything I see then what am I looking at? My first reacting was, well I’m looking at nothing now, however as time went on I started wondering that if by taking the meaning out of things I see, was I actually just seeing them for what they are in this moment?

Were these meanings that have been applied to everything the actual illusionary world I have heard so much about?

I know that reframing meanings around things and situations is the main stay of some personal growth programs, however this is the first time I have removed any meaning from things I see.

From my observation I noticed things brighten and come alive a little more as in the sea when I walked on the beach, I noticed the sparkle of the sun on the waves like looking at a million little diamonds.

At which point my Ego would step in and say - “Oh yea what a wanker,  becoming a poet are we? Next thing we will be sitting on a mountain top contemplating life the universe and everything , broke but let’s face it, that means nothing!”

Having decided to take the higher path so to speak, I didn’t engage with my Ego at this time and just let the experience present itself. I also noticed that in removing meanings from things, you start with a blank canvas upon which anything can be painted.

However that is not the point of today its all about just removing meanings.

I will leave you with a passage I read at the end of the day:

“This world has no pleasure or pain, the body has no pleasure or pain, it is a decision of how we see the world and the body that gives pleasure or pain.”

Or as my ego would love to put it “ What the heck does that mean anyway?”

I think it got the point of today

Travel Well

Gavin